First of all I’m really upset with Michael because four times he promised to come visit me and every time he blew me off with no notice. Now most of me doesn’t trust him at all :( and I feel really alone.
Secondly, as soon as the ip place figured out I was not only not eating all of my meals but purging as well my life and freedom there was over. They panicked, not knowing how to deal with Ed’s. They took me from my room, locked the door, and sent me to the solitary room near the nurses station with no shower or bathroom or even a sink. If I needed to use the bathroom they had to let me in and they watched. Showers I wasn’t allowed to have. Going down to meals i wasn’t allowed and I had to eat everything they brought up to me, no matter if it was celiac friendly or not.
I wasn’t allowed to have cups or my doc approved hydration drink. I passed out 3 times. One time I hit my face, giving myself a black eye and nasty bruise along my cheek bone. My blood pressure was 54/38. Instead of chopping it up to the mess they had me on which lowered my blood pressure they said it was my fault for not eating and drinking (which I had been). I tried to explain but was written off as a liar. They told me to drink more water (and my hydration water my dad brought), and I said ok.
Three days later they said I was drinking too much liquid. They took away my water and hydration drink. Thursday night I passed out again and again I was told it was my fault for not eating or drinking enough water. I said I was eating ( I got in big trouble if I did t finish everything they brought up to me). And explained they had take my water drinks away so I couldn’t stay hydrated. They did t listen, didn’t care and I was written off again as a liar.
Finally I think they realized I was way out of their league ( something I will discuss later) and they desperately wanted to be rid of me. They said if I didn’t go pho at michaels place and agree to go to my moms on the nights I’d otherwise be alone that they’d get a court order saying I couldn’t make my own medical decisions and send me away. So I agreed and it’s been hell ever since.
Anyways, more later.
I really miss you. Some I will post on the new island but will try to write most here. Will talk again soon. Thanks for sticking with me through all the darkness.
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- majandrel posted this